Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
