Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wear drunk well.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize