Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
