I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
