He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
