She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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