Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
