i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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