On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
did i just pee glitter
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
