Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize