dude i'm inner monologue high
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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