The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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