Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
