Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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