Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just found a bag of teeth...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
