shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
