is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
