he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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