smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's shark week go big or go home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
