i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
