it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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