Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
