weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize