i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
