Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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