You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think my moral compass just broke
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
