eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
