he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
