Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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