Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hippo gnu deer
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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