Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize