She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
