I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
