the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I love you.
Bad choice
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