i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it glows. i had to have it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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