So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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