just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
bring money and cleavage
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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