I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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