Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
