who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
