It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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