Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I party with great urgency now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
