I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
