I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
