That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
