I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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