***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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