So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
