o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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