I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
