take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
