I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
