I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize