wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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