she woke up with a sticky ear
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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