I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
