butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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