The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize