this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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