its not stalking. its research.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
