So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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