imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
