The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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