i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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